Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
I just realized today that for the most part, I am not afraid of things I should be, and I am deathly afraid of things I shouldn't be. I'm not scared of a bomb going off, but I'm too horrified to drink out of a glass cup. I'm not scared of dangerous situations that make other people cringe. I'm scared of things other people think are simple everyday parts of life. Go figure.
I have been a busy bee the last few days, with all the news going on in my town. Check out my other blog KSHIPPYCHIC if you wanna read about it!
Monday, August 27, 2007
"Researchers are still trying to fully understand the causes of bipolar disorder. There are many different theories, some of which relate to brain biochemistry. In people with bipolar disorder, research shows that there may be:
- Imbalances of certain brain chemicals (too many or too few)
- Interruptions in the way messages are carried between brain cells or within brain cells1
At least 100 brain chemicals (neurotransmitters) have been discovered inside the human brain. These chemicals carry messages (signals) between brain cells (neurons). There are also ways that messages are carried within brain cells. These brain activities are important because they affect thought, emotion, memory, and learning. Bipolar disorder can impair these functions and make it more difficult to go about your day-to-day routines.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Your Brain's Pattern
Your brain is always looking for the connections in life.
You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first.
You're also good at connecting people - and often play match maker.
You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.
Friday, August 24, 2007
It truly sucks that there are people I would love to get to know - but wont. Thanks to "fake bitch who thinks she's the queen of all blogs" that is. I won't mention names because well, that would send her traffic, which is what she desires most. Traffic to make money? Nooooo that's below her see - at least for now. Traffic for friends? Oh no - this woman couldn't be a more fake friend if she paid you to be hers. I feel sorry for all the people she has sucked in and has totally snowed. When I first starting blogging, I was naive about things, and I thought she was pretty cool. Then I got to see what she was really about, and my gawd I can't say I have ever met someone so truly mean and nasty in my life. The blog trolls are more genuine than she is. She's the type that tells you that you can't be friends with someone she doesn't like, adds a nasty little lie about them to some conversation with you. Then she gets all her little friends (You people should hear the shit she says behind your back) to gang up on you and leave snarky little comments on your blog. Maybe you will even be so upset you will just delete your blog. It's just really fucking sad. Yes bitch - I know you are reading this - so fuck off. Don't take your "battle of the blogs" battles so seriously - you win or you lose. Who cares? It's supposed to be for fun and traffic - so people can meet new people and get some traffic and some readers. But for you - oh no it's gotta be your way or no way for everyone who comes into contact with you. I feel sorry for you, and I feel sorry for the people who believe that you are really their friend. To you I say "FUCK YOU DEBBIE!" (her name changed for my own entertainment)
Sorry to be so pissy today. Forgot to take my crazy pills.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Jamie - if you are out there, you blog has dissapeared. I'm thinking of you, and hope you come back soon!
Monday, August 20, 2007
My youngest starts kindergarten in the morning. It makes me sad to see my kids all growing up so fast. I love her teachers, but unfortunately my brothers boy is going to be in the same class. The school wanted him to stay back in Head Start, but my brother threw a fit until they went ahead and put him in kindergarten. He's just turned 5 in June, so he is one of the younger ones, but he just isn't ready. The last two years of pre-school he has been "asked to leave" school for hitting and slapping the teachers in the face. He dumped chocolate milk all over Rye last year, and he ended up being separated from all the other kids. He's not a horrible child I don't think, but you live what you learn, and well.... spanking him hasn't seemed to be doing the trick. On top of that, there is a little girl that will be in the classroom that has an odd obsession for long hair. Like - she tried to cut my friends' daughter's hair OFF last year. So I tell Rye, just to be kind and nice to everyone, but stay far far far away from those two brats. It sounds awful, but I don't want her getting headlice from my brothers kid, though I guess haircut girl could easily solve that problem. I swear if my little princess comes home with a ponytail in her hand instead of on her head - errrg!
Thoughts on my mind heavy lately, though I really don't know why. You would think all of the time that has passed would have helped heal the wounds brought on by such a love.
Sincerely I say congratulations to you Troy Goodwater. To you and your new wife Tricia, on your marriage, and your new little baby boy Austin. I am sure he is beautiful, and I know how much you always wanted a son. I hope Ashley is doing good, and I hope Tricia can be everything as a step mom to her. I miss Ashley so much even still....
I have often wondered what led you to Michigan, why you ran so far away from even your own family. I guess none of that matters now, as you have a new family to love and take care of. I wish you all the best that this life has to offer. I am glad that you have finally found true happiness. With love always, Beck
I was tagged this morning by Her Royal Highness Saboma the Countess-Palatine Mary Zephenelle who in turn had been tagged by Kim.
1st Peculiar Aristocratic Title
| My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:|
Countess Rebecca the Disappointing of Leighton in the Bucket
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title
2nd Try Peculiar Aristocratic Title
| My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:|
Her Excellency Kshippychic the Purple of Studley Roger
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title
| My Fortune Cookie told me:|
The stiffness of an earlobe will incite your passions next Friday.
Get a cookie from Miss Fortune
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
FIBULA - A small lie.
BACTERIA - Back door to the cafeteria.
EPIDERMIS - Cousin Epi didn't get that deer.
IMPOTENT - Distinguished, well known.
MEDICAL STAFF - A doctors' cane.
BARIUM - What to do when a patient dies.
CAUTERIZE - Made eye contact with her.
SEIZURE - Roman emperor.
BENIGN - What you be after eight.
ARTERY - The study of paintings.
TUMOR - More than one.
COLIC - A sheep dog.
HANGNAIL - What you hang your coat on.
NITRATES - Cheaper than day rates.
FESTER - Quicker than the other guy.
COMA - A punctuation mark.
CAT SCAN - Kitty hunting.
URINE - Opposite of your out.
TERMINAL ILLNESS - Getting sick at the airport.
VARICOSE - Nearby or close by.
OUTPATIENT - A person who has fainted.
ENEMA - Not a friend.
DILATE - To live too long.
MORBID - An offer higher than I bid.
RECTUM - DANG NEAR KILLED EM!
(Actual homework for Anatomy and Physiology)
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Did anyone watch the Dr. Phil show on Monday titled "Saving Grace?" It was our story on that TV, unfolding with different characters, but ours just the same. It was her story. She came in and watched it with me, then slumped into a pile of angry sadness into my lap. Ten years of therapy, medications, and time, have done nothing to erase the memory of what he did or ease the pain and brokenness she feels. She told me about him one day while I was giving her a bath. Shocked, I did the wrong thing, and instead of calling the cops, I called gramma. She sighed and said there must be some mistake. The prosecutors and investigators played their little game. Grampa refused to take a lie detector test. In the end of it all, there was not enough evidence to charge him, as there were no eye witnesses. That whole side of her family called her a liar, they turned their backs on her. The little 6 year old lost everything. He would take her for walks, she said. Down into the woods where no one could see. He would call her into the bathroom while he was bathing, and gramma thought nothing of it. Years later in a twisted kind of poetic justice, he lost both his legs to diabetes. I said maybe that will stop him from taking any more walks with little girls. To see him in his wheelchair was so pathetic. I wanted to rip him up out of there and scream in his stupid sick face. She did too. But it was not the time or place for such letting of blood. There has never been the right time or place. She screamed at the TV people, crying a deep soul slicing set of tears. "It will never be ok, " she cried. "Never!" We talked and cried and I held her. She knows it's not her fault. She knows she's not a bad person. She knows that man is a sick sonofabitch with no worth as a human being. She knows what the therapists have told her. She understands those parts. But she FEELS broken, betrayed, and worthless, so just how do you make that go away? She went from being a gifted sunshine child, to a sad and empty soul. Looking back on it all from time's perspective I can see that she had no ADHD, she was traumatized. That man stole everything from her. EVERYTHING. The screaming inconsolable nightmares. He stole her innocence, her gramma, aunts, uncles, cousins, her view of the world, her spirit. And yet he lives life as if nothing changed. "I didn't hurt that girl," he said. Now a new baby girl has been born into that family. I just pray she is kept from harm. But no one believed my baby girl, so what is to come of the next one at gramma's house? You see, he got new legs, just strap em right on and go for a walk. He got new legs, but how can you replace a spirit? Thirty years put my pain in the back of my mind most days. But it's still there, lurking. The one thing I wanted to protect her from the most - the one thing I wanted to spare her from - and I thought I was protecting her. It happened anyway.
Monday, August 13, 2007
To be 16 again. She's bored. She's frustrated. She's pissy and I don't know how she will make it to see 18. The job has ended and school starts on Thursday.
Since the day she was born, she's been my favorite subject to photograph, only now she won't wear frilly dresses and bows in her hair.
We used to color with crayons together, and play in the dirt. Tonight we sat on the porch talking about grown up adult things. I never could have imagined my baby at this age.
Not in a million years.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
A sampling of vegies from my garden. Gardening makes me happy. It is good excercise, relaxing, and there is nothing like harvesting the fruits of your labors and nourishing your family with those gifts. When I am out in the garden, the only time I panic is when I see a snake! For a while, the world is good.
Friday, August 10, 2007
I keep getting large packages of beef jerky left on my doorstep......
Sometimes, I think my lips are chapped, so I lick them a little, and then, I can't stop licking them a little and they get really super chapped. Then I apply chapstick over and over and over and over..... Oh the signs of mental illness.....
I do think people laugh at me a lot. Not in a good way - like people in the store point and say look at that stupid girl.
I like it when people laugh with me - that's funny and fun. Even when I pee my pants. A bit messy though.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
My soon to be Junior in high school had her hair done yesterday - 5 hours at the salon!! I was shocked and a bit dissapointed at how mild her hair color actually was when she came home! NO PINK?? NO PURPLE?? Actually she looks very nice with some fairly subtle blonde and reds for highlights, and a fresh new set of eyebrows. She's my baby who loves to shock people - but this year - nothing! LOL! We will be making a trip to our HOT TOPIC, as it is closing, and everything in the store is half price. Maybe she will find some interestingly shocking pants.....
Last night my smarty smarterton son's teacher came for a home visit. At the grade school, all the teachers visit all the students at their home before school starts. I love it because you get one on one time before things start to be really busy, and the kids have a chance to get comfy with the teacher they are going to have. Tonight is my little kindergarteners turn, and she has two teachers coming to visit! She is so excited to get to go to school all day like bubby and sissy. All the kids have their new backpacks stuffed with new school supplies, new shoes and a few new articles of clothing. They all start back to school on the 16th - so exciting!! Now I am broke and have to wait to get me some shoes and a few school supplies. I don't mind though, as long as the kids have what they need.
We broke down and had to buy a window air conditioner yesterday too. It was unbearable hot here, and of course our landlord wont fix our central air unit. We got a $200 window AC for $30!! We borrowed the cash from our 16 year old (pathetic I know) until Friday - but it was a deal that we couldn't pass up. At least now our bedroom stays nice and cool, and everyone can sleep in there so it's not so bad. We just can't vacuum or run the microwave at the same time as the AC being on - I blew the breakers yesterday and found that one out!
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Jamie, and Autumn both felt that I was worthy of this award, and now it is my turn to pass it on! Every one has a story that would break your heart....
Mar -She belongs in an institution! And she loves me anyways.
Mack - She loves me anyway and got kicked out of the mental hospital.
Yours Truly - Should be medicated for every one's protection!
Mel - She can talk the crazy right out of ya!
Spicy - She has named her assholes #1 and #2!
Auntsissy - She's the crazy butterfly lady!
Ok so on a serious note - all these ladies have been through their fair share of shit. All have overcome in one way or another. So while I poke fun, it is because I know the very personal struggles they have fought, each one just a little bit different, with a link in the chain that holds us together through thick and thin.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Here are the rules:
1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
The Middle Name Meme
Assertive: I need to learn that.
No: I should say it more.
Never: Will I ever again eat tofu.
Tagging Three People: